We now interrupt you. . . . .

. . . for no good reason at all. Daily. Repeatedly. Just because we feel like it. And you just have to deal 'cause there's nothing you can really do about it. If you do try to thwart us, we'll just label you 'uncooperative'. Should you choose to ignore us, we'll call you 'unresponsive'. In fact, any action you attempt at deflecting our maneuvers will be met with unrelenting accusations that you cannot possibly overcome. You cannot disregard the power we have over you.

We will wear you out. Beat you down. Erode your determination and self-confidence. You will give in and give up because we are better than you.

You are weak and stupid.

Getting under your skin is our main objective. Plus, it's just plain fun! Once we get under your skin, it's just a matter of time before you crumble. You will roll over as a dog does to its master for a belly rub. We can't wait for you to flip out, tell us off and break every rule you're supposed to be following. It's our Grand Plan and we're sure it's working! Yes - we are superior and eventually you will give up your fight and we will claim the victory.

So, enjoy the 3-4 emails a day from us. Telling you what to do where the kids are concerned. They'll only increase with frequency and intensity if you try to resist. We won't pick up the phone and call you about anything because we're just way too slick to do something as sensible and normal as that. Besides, there would be no record of you not doing what we demand. Emails are much better for that kind of evidence.

Keep looking for us to visit the property there where your house is. The only land we can't come on is where the house is located. We'll be there any time the mood strikes us. Day. Night. In between. All the land around you isn't in your name, so technically - we've got you surrounded. HA! Sorry if it disturbs the kids during school time. Too bad if it distracts them from their work, chores or routine. Hopefully it'll bug you really bad and one day you'll come out there and let us have it. I just know you will.

And we definitely plan to continue our phone calls around town to the homeschooling community to check-up on you and see where we can catch you doing wrong. Yeah, yeah - we know that it's a parent's right to choose the way their children are educated. And we also understand that both you and their father made the choice to homeschool together long before you separated. But even though he's made statements to many, many people about not trusting the government to educate his kids and not wanting to expose them to the indoctrination of the public school system and all that entails - it's clear now that you duped him into that decision. We really believe that you seduced him into homeschooling the kids. Basically (even though he's our son) he isn't smart enough to make that decision. He didn't know what he was getting into. And you led him down a path so that you could do things your way. He's not strong enough - mentally or emotionally - to make sound choices where his kids are concerned. We know you held a gun to his head and forced him to go along with you. And we plan to take away your power to raise your own children, much less teach them in a homeschool setting. You're an idiot and couldn't teach a dog to sit.

We believe the best education for our grandchildren is to put them back into the same school that, back in first grade, let your oldest son go without food for an entire day just because he didn't get his lunch out of his backpack in the morning and put it in his cubby. Yes, policy was more important to them than a child having food and no, they didn't even call you to bring him something to eat, but so what! He should've followed the rules, even if he was only 6 at the time and still getting used to the routine there.

We want to put the kids back in the same school system that now allows children the choice of whether or not to say the pledge of allegiance to the flag each day. The same one that does not allow prayer or talking with other students at lunchtime. You know - the one that shuffles kids through from grade to grade whether they're learning or not. Yeah, we know they could end up in high school reading on a 4th grade level, but what's the big deal? They'll be in high school like they should be by society's standards and that's what really matters. Status quo is what's important to us. More so than what the kids really need and what works best for them.

I'm sure we've made it abundantly clear that what's in their best interest, all the way around, is NOT our first concern. Of course, not! What WE think is best is what we're after. Because we are all knowing. We might have raised someone who became schizophrenic and homosexual and lied about it, but that's not our fault. He was given an idyllic, perfect little childhood, as far as we're concerned. It was great for us! So therefore, we bear no responsiblity in his outcome as a person. And we are the only ones capable of raising your children, no matter how they may turn out.

Our track record is irrelevant.

We even claim 'God's will' when things go our way. When they haven't gone exactly as we expected, wanted or tried to control, we just sit back and blame you. You manipulative, scheming bitch. We hate you.

Though no one will ever hear those words leave our lips - not even to each other. But it IS a fact. We never even liked you one little bit. Not even when we acted the part. We were successful in fooling you, though. There's great satisfaction in that. One of our favorite memories was when one of us came to you in church, of all places, and asked your forgiveness for our treatment of and attitude towards you for the past 10 years. The best part was when we asked if we could start over. YOU FELL FOR IT!! You were so relieved, happy, felt so much better about our relationship. Of course, our only goal was to gain your trust so you would share your thoughts and plans with us. And it worked! Like we said: you're such an idiot!

So. Here we are. Divorce papers filed. The battle begins.

You might as well give up now. You are not strong enough to fight us - The Great Three Musketeers from the Dark Side. Christianity may be our declaration, but winning is our goal. At all costs. There will be no compassion, common sense, respect or cooperation from us. Much less conducting ourselves in the manner of Jesus Christ, as we pretentiously claim to live. We will annihalate you by any method possible and be in total control of everything.

Give. It. Up.

Please enjoy our constant interruptions. They will not cease until we are victorious. You will be under our feet, where you belong.

With all the artificial concern, love, outward show of being 'normal people' so no one knows our real beliefs and plans that we can muster,

Your soon to be ex-husband and in-laws

a.k.a. Walking Hypocritical Contradictions