Once upon a time . . . . . .

In a land that seems far, far away.  I was a gorgeous filly with a flowing mane and legs that went on for ages. (hey - it is my story, okay)  I was hot stuff.  But I was the last one to know.  Always a little insecure about my looks, whenever I was complimented it would go to my head a bit.  Even got me into a few complicated situations a few times.  Luckily I always managed to escape unharmed.  Until one night.  

I had gone down to a legendary hole-in-the-wall beach bar with a friend.  I was standing at the bar waiting to order a drink when it happened.  He walked up and stood right beside me.  

Not one for shyness, I blurted out:

"Don't I know you?"  Knowing full well exactly who he was. Looking at the picture in my mind of him in 9th grade in the school parking lot.  Hoping I wouldn't be embarrassed if his memory failed him.

He finally replied:

"Ummmm....do you?  You look familiar but I just can't remember your name."

There it was.  I could feel it.  The heat rising up to my face.  My cheeks getting hot.  Yep.  There's the sweat popping out on my forehead.  Great.  What if he still doesn't remember me even after I tell him my name?!  Oh why, why did I even open my mouth?

"Yeah - um - we went to school together at ...."

"Ohhhhhh - yeah!  I remember you now!  Wow.  Wow!  I can't believe you remember me.  You were one of the 'untouchables' back then.  No guy ever thought he'd get a date with you."

"What?  What are you talking about?  No one hardly ever asked me out.  Are you telling me there were guys that wanted to ask me out in high school but never did because they were scared of me turning them down??"  (This can't be right.  But it does explain a lot, if it's true.)

"Yeah. Yep.  You were so beautiful.  And tall.  All the guys wanted to go out with you but didn't want all their friends to laugh at them if you said no.  So you were dubbed 'untouchable'.  Looks like you still are."

whaaaaa???   This is all news to me.  I went the entire four years of high school wondering why I didn't get asked out like some of my girlfriends did.  I thought it was because all the boys were scared to death of my father.  But because I was pretty?  

                            That's. My. Luck.

After I picked my jaw up off the floor, he asked me to join him and a couple of friends at their table.  I did and he continued to tell me stories of specific guys and how they'd talk about me and how they were going to ask me out but then would chicken out in the end.  I was stunned.  

This was one of the biggest compliments ever, I thought.  In a back-handed, round-about, decades later kind of way.  He continued to regale me with stories from the highschool boys' club he was a part of.  Even included his own story of how he'd planned on asking me out and then didn't follow through because he thought I'd say 'no' since he was a good 3 inches shorter than me, at the time.  

Good thing he grew, 'cause I was hooked.  He was handsome, smart and made me laugh.  Plus we had a connection that went back beyond highschool, all the way to elementary school.  Raised in the same town.  Knew some of the same people.  It was, initially, a match made in heaven.  

From that night on we were attached at the hip.  Two peas in a pod.  A couple of renegades taking on the world together.  I even rode off into the sunset with him.  Straight down to the ends of the earth where the sunset lasts for ages....the Florida Keys.  Those were crazy fun times.

Then we came back home and started making a life together. And babies.  Wonderful, sweet, beautiful babies.  Things were hard in the beginning, as they usually are.  I wish that was as hard as it ever would've been.  

I couldn't have imagined or manufactured the hell our life has become.  I wouldn't even wish what's happened to our family on my worst, most hated enemy.  There was no way to predict or stop it, either.  For now I've just got to go with the flow.  Not rock the boat.  Try to find balance in it all.